Everything You Missed at the 83rd Golden Globes

The 83rd Golden Globes was this past Sunday, and I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and say, you didn't watch them.

For a couple of reasons: 1. TV and Film award show viewership has dropped 60% over the past 8 years and 2. You clicked on this article. But, the truth is the Golden Globes are really important to the way the rest of the award season is viewed. And since live TV events are rapidly becoming a thing of the past, other than most recently Dancing With The Stars of course, I'm here to give you an outlet so you can stay savvy with your local film bros even if you accidentally missed the broadcast.

Nicki Glaser's Best Opening Jokes

As she returned from her second year as host of the Globes, star comedian Nicki Glaser (known most commonly for her stand-up on The Roast of Tom Brady) fully delivered with the sharp wit we love her for. Here were some of what the media is calling her best jokes of the night:

"Michael B. Jordan is nominated tonight for best actor. In Sinners Michael played two twins-and I can't believe it! We got 2 Michael B. Jordans, when I saw that I became Nicki B. Jerkin, because that was awesome."

The confidence to say that on live TV, unbeatable. And then, we knew we wouldn't make it all night (or through the first 10 minutes) without a joke like this:

"I cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight, it's insane. There are so many A-listers, and by A-listers I do mean people who are on a list that has been redacted."

I'm a sucker for a cheesy joke so here's one I loved:

"The Rock is nominated tonight, and luckily, the TV show "The Paper" is not-so, he might win!"

And one last one to ring in her amazing set:

"Did you guys know that "White Lotus" season 3 was the first hit show to feature incest since Property Brothers season all of them?"

Who needs Game Of Thrones, am I right?

Seth Rogen Award Speech

On a more wholesome note, the Apple TV hit series The Studio took home two Globes: Best Television Series-Musical or Comedy and Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy. Both went to Seth Rogen. On his second speech of the night, Rogen took the time to give a shout-out to crew members who are so often forgotten, especially in the heat of a well-decorated show's season. Here is one of the best awards speeches I've heard in a long time:

"Thank you! Half our writers are at table one and the other half are at table 228 but they made it! We shoot our show in these long continuous tapes and the reason I wanted to do that is because I know it doesn't work unless the whole crew comes together to make it work. I really wanna thank our crew, most of whom don't get invited to this– um, but they should! Our first AD Murph, Our cinematogrpher Adam, our A camera operator Mark, our costume designer Kammy, our props guy Andy, our live producer Jessie, our craft service Chance, our caterer Orlando, Eric Kissack our editor, Antonio, Georgia, Vannessa, our hair and makeup people– truly without all of you this show would not be makeable. Thank you very much, we couldn't appreciate it more. We're so excited to start filming the next season one week from today. Thank you."

Most people don't realize the fact that Seth Rogen could thank by name almost every member of the crew, even down to crafty, is incredibly rare and admirable. Always loved him as a performer, but I gained a new respect for Rogen as a person watching that speech.

Snoop Dogg Slip Up

So, this year the Golden Globes had a new category for Best Podcast. The award this year went to Good Hang with Amy Poehler (I'm sitting here writing this with my Broski Reprt slippers on so I have high hopes for next year). The real gag, however, came from the announcer, everyone's favorite podcast lover Snoop Dogg... right, so.

I know you will all be shell-shocked to hear that he went off the rails a tad bit. The network had to scramble and bleep him out on live TV, here's my best written translation, please keep in mind it's hard to put Snoop on paper:

"Need y'all to loosen up a bit. This is the Double Gs, the Double Gs is the Golden Globes and you with the D.O double G, so make sure you enjoy yourself. Best Podcast is a very important category for me because before podcasts I was what you all listened to drivin around in ya cars. To you podcasters, yall better hope I don't get in that game. Alright, shout out to all you podcasters, you all are winners (opens envelope)... but the real winner – man I'm high as a mother f**ker. Yall had me here too damn long. The winner is "Good Hang", Amy Poehler."

Honestly, I don't think Amy would've had it any other way!

Biggest Win Of The Night: Adolescence

An unexpected big win of the night was the Netflix series Adolescence which follows the story of a teenage boy who is accused of murder. The show examines how grief, guilt, and online influence ripple through his family, school, and community. It premiered February of last year and only has 4 episodes! What's unique about this show is that each episode is shot in one continuous take (each just around an hour). Their hard work paid off at the Globes after they took home 4 awards, which is nuts for a 4-part series. It won Best Limited Series/Motion Picture Made for Television; Best Performance of a Male Actor in a Limited Series (Stephen Graham); Best Female Actor in a Supporting Role on Television (Erin Doherty); and Best Performance of a Male Actor in a Supporting Role on Television (Owen Cooper). The praise is well deserved and I think this show will prove just as successful at the SAG Awards coming up this spring.

JLo's Glambot Attitude

The internet was running rampant with the currently viral video of Jenifer Lopez's Glambot session. Many people are commenting that she appeared to be incredibly rude to Cole Walliser, creator and head photographer for the infamous Glambot. I have nothing to quote here because, well, she didn't speak a word to him.

Cole did his normal directing and then JLo just stood there mewing and did a little turn. She didn't respond to any of his direction verbally and as the record shows, don't shoot the messenger, she didn't say thank you either. Now, we all know she's most certainly not the only celebrity to have let a tad bit of their elitist side slip out, but most a-listers have caught on to the fact that the Glambot process will be recorded, and millions of people will watch. Cole's tiktok videos average anywhere from 10 to 30 million views every time. So you'd think someone on her team would've given her a heads-up. But, who knows what was going on behind the scenes there? If you haven't already seen it go watch her glambot on TikTok now and let us know what you think. And next year, be sure to tune in for the 84th Golden Globes, I sure hope I'll be nominated!