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Let me first begin this review by making one thing absolutely clear: I do not like musicals.
There is something about the repetitive, same-sounding songs and dance that I just can't stand. But if there is one thing I can say about Kiss of the Spider Woman, it is that director Bill Condon sure knows how to make musicals.
The Oscar-winning filmmaker was the writer behind the adaptation of Chicago and directed the film version of Dreamgirls. While Condon keeps all the razzle-dazzle, the film ultimately falls short of its Broadway source material.
As far as the story goes, it takes place at the end of Argentina's Dirty War. Marxist revolutionary Valentín (Diego Luna) and gay window-dresser Molina (Tonatiuh) are cellmates in a government prison. To pass the time, Molina recounts the story of his favourite Hollywood film, "The Kiss of the Spider Woman" starring Ingrid Luna (Jenifer Lopez), an actress who also becomes the star of his escapist fantasies.
The film is a true love letter to big-budget MGM musicals. The musical fantasy scenes earn the in-story claim of being shot in bold Technicolour. The sets and costumes almost hurt your eyes from the sheer amount of colours on the screen; you'd almost expect Barbara Streisand to make an appearance. It feels strongly like a movie compared to a musical, and takes advantage of the medium by leaning fully into the Gene Kelly-ness of it all. A particular shout-out goes to the "Where You Are" sequence, which feels the most like a performance you would see on stage.
However, much like the plot itself, it comes across like someone saw the musical one time and decided to explain it to someone else. Beneath the flashiness... there's not a whole lot, especially for a story that relies so much on political commentary. It focuses much more on spectacle, cutting the showtunes that take place within the prison in favour of only including them in the film-within-a-film that Molia describes to Valentín. Rather, we see everything, but Condon doesn't let us feel it. The point is to separate the fantasy and the reality, which, yes, does work, but the music itself is largely forgettable, and the choreography is less Fosse and more spins and twirls.
That being said, Lopez sings and dances with everything in her. Luna and Tonatiuh play off each other with ease. They have the challenge of mixing bid theatre acting with subtle screen performances, and take it head-on. In particular, Tonatiuh strikes the perfect balance in their dual role as Molina and in-movie assistant Kendall Nesbitt.
While Kiss of the Spider Woman seems confident in its vision, the task of adaptation from one medium to the next, the changes and muddled message could have worked in creating a powerful, political ode to the bygone days of silver screen classics. The insistence on style elevates the musical scenes, but trips over itself when it gets more serious.
