"If I Had Legs I'd Kick You" Is A Full-On Freak Out

It's not much of a stretch to call Mary Bronstein's If I Had Legs I'd Kick You possibly the most anxiety-inducing film of the year.

Linda (a seriously wonderful Rose Byrne) is at her breaking point. Her daughter is seriously ill, her husband is away, her job as a therapist is wearing her thin, and now she comes home to a giant hole in the ceiling of her apartment. It's quite incredible how absolutely everything that could go wrong in her life does. Every bit of stress, worry, and panic oozes from Byrne's performance, making for a deeply uncomfortable watch.

As with all good character studies, our central character is not a good person. Each decision she makes leads to more and more spiralling consequences. But we feel for Linda. We see how she is dismissed, pushed to her limits, and ultimately how she breaks down. Perhaps the worst part is how much it makes sense to see her snap. She begins abandoning her daughter (Delaney Quinn) more, taking drugs, and abusing alcohol to try and cope with the chaos around her. But nothing works; in fact, it just makes everything so much worse. Linda is constantly dismissed over her worries and mounting responsibilities, so much so that she begins to scream for someone to just listen to her, all while she continues to destroy what she has left.

Bronstein is highly particular about what she wants in her frame. The whole film embodies a claustrophobic feel; every bit is positioned exactly and with such purpose that it creates a more uncomfortable environment for everything happening within. Most of what we see of Linda is close-ups of her face as she thinks, feels, and shouts. What we never see, however, is her family. The face of her daughter isn't even shown until the end of the film, the same applies to her husband (Christian Slater, who gave an excellent vocal performance). These are all elements of her life, things that drive her closer and closer to the edge. By only hearing them – the incessant screams of her daughter and apathetic dismissals of her husband – mean they're not really characters, but impacts on her life and decisions.

Each choice made is one that Bronstein frames as a parallel. Her daughter's doctor tells Linda that her illness is not her fault, while telling her that if her condition doesn't improve, she will have to have her treatment reassessed. One of Linda's patients, racked with anxiety about motherhood, abandons her infant son. Linda is horrified, not realizing this is exactly what she does to her own daughter each night. She screams at her own therapist/coworker (Conan O'Brien – in his first dramatic performance) to be left alone, but also for someone to listen to her. Her neighbor James (A$AP Rocky) does everything to show her kindness, yet she keeps pushing him further away.

When the credits come around, it makes sense to see that this film was produced by Josh Safide of Uncut Gems fame. If I Had Legs occupies the same space in its stressful unravelling. Alongside Bronstein's knack for keeping a tight frame, the performances are what keep this film as engaging as it is. Byrne, O'Brien, Slater, and even young actress Quinn, deliver in how much you deeply dislike each of them. While the meaning of the hardships of motherhood and the dismissal of women is loud and clear, the deeper thought struggles to take hold. Still effective, but the film doesn't allow itself enough time to go through its own themes. Rather, Linda's suffering seems to strictly propel the plot forward rather than make a direct commentary on the burdens placed upon women and mothers. We are observers of her problems rather than empathizers.

At the end of the film, Linda decided to finaly run away. She goes to the beach to try and drown herself, throwing herself over and over at the waves, but keeps getting pushed back to the shore. Like the definition of insanity, she runs to the shore each time expecting different results. And like the film, she is relentless.